some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just invented taco cereal.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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