fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
