I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
