stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
