got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
