I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
