Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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