I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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