She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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