Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
