Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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