At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
