weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
