Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
