I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
