Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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