my being single is dangerous.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
