who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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