Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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