One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
