My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
