1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
