I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
