Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
