My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
