There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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