People in love make me want to vomit
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
