i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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