I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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