SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
