Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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