I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize