Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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