Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
