no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
