I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
