you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
