OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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