i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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