i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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