oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
