Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
