have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
