What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
