Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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