dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
