i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
