i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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