Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
