Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
