Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
