You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
