i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
That accounts for only three of the penises
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
