So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
