Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
